It’s crazy to think that Aleia is 2 years old and I’ve been a mom for 2 years.. I honestly still can’t believe how fast time has really flown. Looking back now, I have no idea how I survived some of those first few months.. but seriously I will never forget how hard being a first time mom is. The thought of it is actually making me a bit emotional because it was such a learning curve & some days the transition to this whole new identity was beyond overwhelming. It’s funny because before becoming a mom I thought I knew it all what to expect, what to do, figured breastfeeding will be a wiz.. after all women have done it for thousands and thousands of years & my degree is literally on Child Development. I wrote over 500+ hours of University papers on babies and children! Gosh, was I ever wrong. No amount of books, lectures, experience you have working with & around children will prep you for having your own baby. Absolutely nothing & you end up winging it all.
You will never ever be the same person you were before.. & its not a bad thing! You will slowly transform into a singing, rocking, multi-tasking, haven’t-showered-in-days Super Mom surviving on bottomless cups of coffee & your child’s love… But for real… you will.
1.) Breastfeeding is painful & tough.. really REALLY REALLY tough. Every Pregnancy Books, Parenting magazines, friends and family will warn you, but its hard to understand how difficult nursing is until you literally have a baby to feed. Nipples bleeding, cluster feeding, mastitis, latching issues, seriously its a huge learning experience. You will get through it, don’t be afraid to ask for help!
2.) You will cry, the baby will cry, you will cry some more.. there will be a lot of TEARS & emotions all over the place for the next little bit. You might cry because of exhaustion, your overwhelmed or frustrated. You might even find yourself sitting on the bathroom floor just so you can breath. Nothing preps you for having a dependent, helpless human 24/7 like the actual experience.
* If you find your emotion are more intense please do not hesitate to ask for help from your family, friends & family doctor. 1/5 moms suffer from Postpartum Depression & its ok to seek for help!
3.) Your idea of quiet time/vacation will change. A trip to the grocery store by yourself & a quiet shower without anyone crying will be a complete emotional & spiritual equivalent of a trip to the spa.
4.) You will be SO EXHAUSTED. The first year is the toughest.. you are going to be a walking zombie for awhile.. make sure you stock up on all the coffee. Now that I think about it, I didn’t really drink a lot of coffee before A. But seriously, you will literally get so excited on the thought of 4 hours of straight sleep & pray for that!!
5.) You will fall inlove with your partner all over again watching him/her with your baby makes you weak on the knees with love & admiration.
6.) Nothing about motherhood is constant, things change non-stop. One minute your babe is sleeping through the night & the next week you are surviving on one hour of sleep with a cranky, teething, miserable baby. Just go with the flow & try to make it through the day, enjoy the peace when it’s quiet & survive in the midst of chaos.
7.) You will feel GUILTY an awful lot. Mom guilt is real and you will lay in bed at night thinking you shouldn’t have done this & that & this. You’ll feel pretty guilty pretty much about everything. From breastfeeding, bottle feeding, feeding organically or not, screen time, working or not, raising your voice, etc…. EVERYTHING. You’ll get use to it.
8.) When you aren’t feeling guilty, you will worry. Worry about everything. You will feel so protective over your babe & will do anything to protect your little love. You will hope & pray your child never has to endure any pain or hurt, the thought of that breaks your heart.
9.) You will secretly get competitive. Seriously, I am so guilty for this. Even if you aren’t a competitive person, you will find yourself comparing your baby to other babies the same age. But ofcourse every baby is different!
10.) Motherhood can be so isolating and lonely. You will lose friends & gain new ones. You will find a greater appreciation for other moms & bond as well as sympathize with them. You will cry when they cry & celebrate when they celebrate, especially because they are the ones that actually “get it.”
Last but not least, the love you will feel for your baby is indescribable and unexplainable. There is no love like this kind of love. You will lay at night just staring at your child sleeping & nothing else at that moment matters but your sweet, perfect & beautiful child. Everything that matters in the world is right in front of you.